Being Real
Throughout these pieces, I keep referring to feelings.
By “Being Real,” I mean having the freedom to display on the outside what you feel on the inside.
My belief is that the wider the gap between what you feel on the inside and display on the outside, the higher the cost.
Feel sad --- look glum and sad, maybe cry --- no cost.
Feel sad --- force a smile, look happy ---high cost.
This cost can be paid in many ways, physically, in a host of psychosomatic diseases. To relationships in terms of the confusion it can cause by the conflicting messages given out. And to the individual’s sense of self, in that the attempt to distance yourself from emotions that are painful or difficult to handle, can lead after a while to an awful sort of emotional disorientation, a sort of empty numbness.
The effect of meeting someone who is genuinely, “real,” can be exhilarating and sometimes uncomfortable if it calls into question the restrictions we place on ourselves.
Every now and then you meet someone who is genuinely interested in you; in what you do and in what you have to say. Their genuineness comes across so strongly that their effect on you lasts long after the initial encounter.
My belief is that, ”real,” people have that effect on others because they don’t need to, “protect,” themselves, don’t have the need to impress you and can cope with who they are. Their ego’s don’t need to be massaged. They can give you all their attention simply because they don’t have to devote any to themselves.
They think they’re OK and presume you are too.